A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".

The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters.

You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided.

Because of the long hours of this job meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year".

The scouser said "You're bullshitting me!"

The man behind the counter said "Well you fucking started it!"

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